Three Modest Proposals about Current Events (That Wouldn't Solve Anything)

 1.  All speech in and around universities should be encrypted.

2.  All houses within a one kilometer radius of the home of a

school shooter should be bulldozed.

3.  The following ten  great ideas of statistics should be canceled:

    a.  Correlation because Karl Pearson was a eugenicist.

    b.  Regression because Francis Galton was a eugenicist

    c.  Likelihood because R.A. Fisher was a eugenicist

    d.  Likelihood Principle because George Barnard was a communist

    e.  0-1 Law because Andrey Kolmogorov was a communist

    f.  Markov Processes because Andrey Markov was an atheist

    g.  Gini Coefficient because Corrado Gini was a fascist

    h.  Exchangeability because Bruno de Finetti was a fascist

    i.  Causality because Plato was a fascist

    j.  Time because Martin Heidegger was a fascist

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